Picture courtesy of vladstudio
To escape from pain or go toward pleasure.
There is no choice.
These are our unique reactions to every situation, thoughts, decisions we take in life.
When we escape from pain
Think about a particular situation, that you are living now. According to your judgment, if you internally classify the event as painful, you will automatically try to run away, no matter where, no matter how. “I cannot stand my boss”, “I will do it tomorrow”. These and many other recurrent sentences are symptom you are escaping from what you sense as pain.
It’s an action – reaction – action mechanism.
This is typical of the reactive side of you
When you go toward pleasure
Goal setting, visualisation. Positive thinking.
You are determined to reach your objective because you know that in doing so you will feel pleasure. You anticipate the feeling, you visualise the future happy moments and you put all your determination on it, no matter whatever obstacle can temporarily obstruct your way. You are acting in a proactive way.
Whatever we do, we are led by these two factors.
There is some people more prone to one of these actions, that’s why we define a reactive person and a proactive person according to their prevalent kind of behaviour.
Is being on the reactive side a negative thing? No, because a reactive person is always more reflective, more problem solving oriented. In fact in this case a person is tailored to analyse situations, to reach conclusions and avoid painful events. These are positive qualities with the only pitfall of being used in the wrong way. Being proactive, apart the obvious gains, can sometimes lead us to take things too much lightly, to not consider real and relevant problems.
It is common opinion that the best mix of behaviour is found in a blurred line between the two, somewhat slightly skewed toward the proactive one.
What is more subtle, though is that continuous oscillation between one or the other that we experience at every instant. We are bombarded by billions of signals from the external environment. Our brain, acting as a filter, will let only a small number of them float onto the surface, but we have to respond to the stimuli, we want it or not. A decision must be taken, often in a fraction of a second.
We go toward pleasure taking that cup of coffee, or lay down in bed avoiding the pain of another busy day. Situations like this will stretch at most our equilibrium, causing - at the end stress.
Think again when you procrastinate. At the beginning you escape from the pain of doing something you judge as boring, you avoid it for days. When the pressure becomes too high, and you feel a greater pain because of the consequence of not taking action, you will eventually perform the task. You have experienced a lot of tension for nothing. On the other side, if you proactively think about the pleasure of getting rid of that tedious thing doing it once for all, you will enforce self esteem and happiness, not double pain and regret. If you analyse your daily routines under this prospective the examples are infinite.
How to create the right balance and act in the best conscious way?
The solution to not get slaved by these aspects of human behaviour is only one.
Awareness of the moment, living in the now.
Once again I must bring to appreciation the benefits of living every single moment at its fullest. It is difficult at the beginning, because we are so automated that we don’t think about what we do, we are convinced to be fully conscious, but we are not most part of the day.
The secret is to develop a full awareness of the moment as an instinct. Your brain must be consciously interacting, concentrating in whatever task you do. An example. Go to the kitchen and drink a glass of water.
Are you consciously doing that? You go to the kitchen, reach a glass, open the fridge, take the bottle of water, fill the glass, take the bottle back, drink, take the glass back and leave the kitchen. How many times have you done that? Probably thousands.
How many times have you done that with full awareness of your actions? Probably the first time, when you were a child.
The next time, think “now I am going to the kitchen”, “now I am opening the fridge”…till the task is done. You are present, you are “at home”.
When you are consciously alert, you can better understand your reactions. You can judge which kind of behaviour you are adopting. Two simple question you can ask yourself are:
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Am I escaping from pain (or from what I perceive to be painful?)
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Am I proactively addressing this action towards what I identity as pleasure?
With these question you can consciously understand which response you are taking and in case, correct your reaction. It just a matter of educating your brain.
Understanding how your brain works is incredibly important. Sometimes you think you are successfully going toward a goal when you are merely escaping from a situation of pain. When you run away from something you don’t have time to think, just run as fast as possible. And you can find yourself in a situation much worse.
Pain and pleasure must be used at your advantage, you must dominate them, don’t let your soul being enslaved.
Be aware. Be alert.
Now.
